Children need, deserve straight parents

HUNTER PARAMORE | Scroll Illustration

HUNTER PARAMORE | Scroll Illustration

The Supreme Court struck down part of the Defense of Marriage Act June 26, resulting in marriage equality for legally wed same-sex couples.

Married, same-sex couples, are now entitled to the same rights as heterosexual couples including joint federal tax returns, social security survivors benefits and the right to be informed when their spouse is killed in action.

One of the facets of marriage equality that same-sex couples consider to be a victory is they believe their children will now recognize their own equality to other children who are raised by a mother and a father.

“We believe from the very beginning that the importance of this case was to send a message to the children of this country that you are just as good as everybody else, no matter who you love — or who your parents love,” said Kris Perry, a gay rights activist in a video on CNN.

What Perry is failing to acknowledge, however, is that the law is not going to prevent children from feeling unequal with their friends.

Although children of same-sex couples can now say their parents have federal rights, they will likely still feel like outsiders among their peers with heterosexual parents, and they will be denied the experience of having both a male and female role model in their home.

The most selfless thing that comes from a marriage is having children, and it is unlikely that children will be fully benefited in the home without having both a mother and a father.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, released a statement explaining the group’s disappointment with the DOMA ruling.

“What is inevitable is that the male and female relationships will continue to be uniquely important to the future of society,” Perkins said. “The reality is that society needs children, and children need a mom and a dad. We will continue to work to restore and promote a healthy marriage culture, which will maximize the chances of a child being raised by a married mother and father.”

There are several studies that show there is little difference in children who grow up in heterosexual versus homosexual homes, but according to a social science research study done by Mark Regnerus, those studies are based on non-random, non-representative data, often employing small samples.

Because gay parenting has only been an issue for the last few years, these studies aren’t accurately representing the impact gay parenting has had on children over the long term.

Doug Mainwaring, a homosexual man who opposes same-sex marriage, believes heterosexual parenting is the healthiest parenting for children.

Mainwaring realized he was attracted to men when he was eight years old, according to The Witherspoon Institute Public Discourse.

He grew up having desires to date males, but instead, chose to focus on developing his friendships with them.

Mainwaring married a woman in his late twenties, and they eventually adopted two sons.

Unfortunately, Mainwaring’s marriage ended a few years after the adoption of their second son, and he began to explore his homosexuality for the first time.

Mainwaring said that although he felt liberated in his same-sex relationships, he realized two reasons why he never wanted to create a family with another man.

The first reason was because creating a family with another man was not completely equal to creating a family with a woman. The second reason was that denying children parents of both genders at home is an objective evil.

He eventually decided to move back in with his ex-wife and two sons to continue to raise their family. Mainwaring recalls one of the moments when he came to this realization.

“One day as I turned to climb the stairs I saw my sixteen-year-old son walk past his mom as she sat reading in the living room. As he did, he paused and stooped down to kiss her and give her a hug and then continued on. With two dads in the house, this little moment of warmth and tenderness would never have occurred. To be fully formed, children need to be free to generously receive from and express affection to parents of both genders. Genderless marriages deny this fullness,” Mainwaring said.

Men and women have different gender roles, each of which is equally important in raising a family.

According to Life Site News, Robert Oscar Lopez grew up with same-gender parents, and he opposes same-sex marriage.

Several children of same-gender parents asked Lopez to vouch for their agreement of the traditional family, despite what social research says about them functioning normally.

Lopez said the reason they haven’t spoken out is because they are afraid of hurting their parents, whom they love.

“Children feel the loss keenly because they are powerless to stop the decision to deprive them of a father or mother, and the absence of a male or female parent will likely be irreversible for them,” Lopez said.

Lopez gave a few examples as to why these children felt emotionally taxed from the lack of a mother and a father in the home.

These examples include feeling a disconnect from the gender cues of people around them, feeling angry at their parents from depriving them of one or both of their biological parents and wishing they had a role model of the opposite-sex.

“I have heard of the supposed ‘consensus’ on the soundness of same-sex parenting from pediatricians and psychologists, but that consensus is frankly bogus,” Lopez said. “I am here to say, having a mom and a dad is a precious value in its own right and not something that can be overridden — even if a gay couple has lots of money, can send a kid to the best schools and raises the kid to be an Eagle Scout.”

If children of same-sex couples cannot feel happy in their own home, then the home shouldn’t be redefined.

Children are more emotionally stable if a mother and a father raise them, and it isn’t fair for the children of same-sex couples to be excluded from this divine right.

1 Response

  1. Matthew Leach says:

    While it is true a married heterosexual couple can offer the best from both genders while raising children, it is erroneous to assume same-sex couples could not raise families of their own just as successfully. As Stuart Matis, a young gay man who committed suicide 13 years ago because of the self-loathing he felt due to his same sex attractions, said: “Whether a gay man or woman remains celibate or finds a partner, the net effect on families is zero.”

    It is not fair to say children deserve “STRAIGHT” parents. What they deserve are parents. Parents who love them and provide for them. I believe everyone is capable of doing just that.

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