Lindsey Johnson_1column

Don’t be ashamed to want marriage

Lindsey Johnson_1column

When I started telling people I would attend BYU-Idaho, I got a lot of questions like, “So, you’re going to be married by the end of the semester, right?”

People have continued to ask me this every time I go home for Christmas.

I’ve always replied with either a “no, definitely not” or a firm “gross, no way,” depending on who asked and the mood I was in.

Due to the frequency of this question, I was on the defense whenever I told people where I go to school.

I was not the kind of girl who went to school to get married, and I didn’t want people to think I was because then I thought I would be nothing but a stereotype.

But even though I told people I wasn’t looking to get married, the idea, in reality, wasn’t as repulsive to me as I made it sound. I did want to get married.

A lot of women feel this way. They can’t admit they want to get married and have a family because they think it will make them look typical or like “one of those girls.”

We could blame this on any number of things. I personally blame it on stereotypes.

At BYU-I, we all know we have a reputation of getting married too young, very fast.

There are only so many times you can fake a laugh when someone jokingly says “BYU-I-Do.”

I don’t blame myself or other women for being ready to defend our independence when someone asks us if we are looking to get married.

The stereotype of a baby-hungry woman anxiously wanting to get married and accepting the first offer of marriage made to her is not a stereotype too many women openly want to mirror.

If a girl in your social circle openly admitted, “I’m ready to get married and have children,” wouldn’t that type of honesty turn some heads?

Openly admitting to want to get married has become a weird thing — even in our Mormon culture.

In the effort to try and stand out, it’s become commonplace to deny wanting to get married.

Marriage is a righteous desire.

As long as someone is doing what they think is right for them, they shouldn’t be made to feel embarrassed for their choices and desires.

Women should feel confident in doing whatever they choose, whether it be having a career or being a stay-at-home mom.

Making them feel like “Molly Mormons” or nothing but products of a heavily family-focused religion is not fair and ultimately takes a toll.

The last thing a woman should feel for wanting to be a wife and mother is ashamed or embarrassed.

If that is something you want, don’t hesitate to admit it.

'Don’t be ashamed to want marriage' have 3 comments

  1. May 20, 2015 @ 6:06 pm Tanner

    Great piece Lindsey! I think you really hit the spot on the thoughts and feelings of a lot of people on campus, yep, men included.


  2. May 21, 2015 @ 9:38 pm Linda Humphrey

    Great job! Enjoyed all of it. Such a good perspective on both sides. Thanks!


  3. July 14, 2015 @ 11:14 am Editorial: Modesty is no respecter of gender | How Vast Is Our Purpose

    […] “Don’t be ashamed to want marriage” […]


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

Copyright 2015 BYU-I Scroll