How to find romance and keep it

Written by Hannah Merrifield.

Finding Romance & Keeping It: A Discussion on Dating and Courtship was held in the Gordon B. Hinckley Building Thursday, Feb. 11, to help answer students questions about the dating world and how to go forward in a relationship righteously.

The discussion was lead by a group of panelist including Christine Gilbert, Tim Rarick, Tiff Jenson, Tracie Simon, Cole Ratcliffe and Josie Potter.

With the exception of Sister Gilbert, all of the panelists were faculty from either from the home and family department or the sociology and social work department. 

The meeting was held as an open forum discussion where students could stand up and ask any questions they had for the panel concerning dating, marriage or relationships in general.

Kerrie Gartside, a sophomore studying English education, said that she really appreciated the questions that were asked and felt like she learned some new information.

“I really liked it,” Gartside said. “This was definitely insightful.”

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Many of the students who asked questions in the session wondered how to best go about asking someone on a date and what to do on the date once you go out.

“It’s just a matter of practicing and seeing how people react to how you are asking,” said Tracie Simon, a faculty member in the home and family department. “Ask for advice from someone you trust.”

Some girls wondered how to best show interest in a guy or ask a guy out on a date without coming off as desperate.

Ratcliffe, a faculty member for the home and family department, said that most of the time when a girl shows interest in a guy, he will more likely be flattered than tuned off.

“If you don’t want to ask him out, you can put the idea in his head,” Ratcliffe said.

Rarick, a faculty member in the home and family department, said a large part of dating and relationships is to know when to be quiet and also when to speak up.

“Some of us have to learn how to talk a little bit more and get over the one-word grunts,” Rarick said.

One of the main concerns for students at the event was what do to if you find out the person you are in a relationship with is involved with pornography.

The panel suggested that proceeding with prayerful caution and putting the breaks on the physical touching of any kind.

They also mentioned The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sponsored a website called Overcoming Pornography.

At BYU-Idaho, there are a lot of students who are already married and struggling to find ways to keep the relationship fresh in the hectic hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Jenson, a faculty member of the sociology and social work department, said keeping your marriage romantic, even if you have to schedule the romance, is a worthy investment that will always pay off in the end.

“Probably the most scary word in a marriage is routine, but guess what,” Jenson said. “Life has routine. Wouldn’t it be cool to see who could offer each other more service? You want to keep the spice in there by remembering why you got married in the first place, to love and support each other.”

Christine Gilbert, wife of President Clark G. Gilbert, said that continuing to date your spouse even after you are married is an important part of keeping the spice alive in the marriage.

“There is a pattern in all things,” Gilbert said. “Dating before you are married and after is a pattern.”

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