Tamsyn M. Turner copy

Marriage does not curtail aspirations

Tamsyn M. Turner copy

Yes, I am a newlywed.

In fact, I was married only about two weeks ago.

I know what you are thinking, that this is just going to be an article gushing about how awesome marriage is and how everyone needs to get married, and you are partially right.

I do love being married, and I do recommend this whole marriage thing to everyone.

But what I am going to discuss has a lot more to do with the individual dreams and aspirations we all have that aren’t necessarily related to a significant other.

Some people seem to have this misconception that, once you get married, one of you, usually the woman, has to lay aside your dreams in order to help fulfill your spouse’s.

I have friends who, once they got married, thought they had to put their education on hold or even quit school to work and support their spouse.

They told me they had to put aside their dreams of traveling the world or pursuing a career because their dreams just didn’t matter anymore compared to their husband’s or wife’s.

Brenna Smith, founder of SheNOW, a new online community that encourages young women to live their own lives first and to pursue marriage and family second, said that it is important not to give up dreams for marriage and that for women in the world today, marriage isn’t even necessary.

Even with my limited marriage experience, I have to say this way of thinking is false.

From the very beginning of our relationship, my husband and I have been very open and honest about our dreams and ambitions.

Luckily, since we are a little older, we have been able to accomplish some of them, but both of us still have things we want to do, and still are going to do, but now together.

When I got married, it did not mean I had to lay aside these dreams.

It just meant that some of them would have to be adapted to new circumstances and situations.

According to the Happy Wives Club, a website featuring articles about happily married women with careers, building a successful life together takes not only dreaming, but supporting one another to make it happen.

The website said two working together can achieve more, climb higher and advance further in half the time.

The best thing about marriage is that now, not only do you have the things you want to accomplish individually, but new things you can accomplish together.

There are ways to do both, no matter what the world tells you. You can be happily married and still have goals from your single life that you can accomplish.

After all, marriage is about supporting each other and about working as a team.

The key to making sure this happens is for you and your spouse to be clear from the beginning of the relationship about what you both want.

Don’t expect the other to have to give up what they want.

Help each other understand the importance of the dreams of both parties.

Marriage is a time to be each other’s cheerleaders.

Marriage is not a dream dasher. It is a dream helper.

'Marriage does not curtail aspirations' have 3 comments

  1. May 5, 2015 @ 3:01 am John Valentine

    Excellently wrirtten. Marriage requires commitment, compromise and sacrifice.


  2. May 5, 2015 @ 3:33 am Shoshanah

    Thanks Tamsyn for your article. I wholly agree with your opinion. I am so happy you have found love and are pursuing your dreams. Many blessings on your marriage and career. You are a talented, beautiful young woman.


  3. June 24, 2015 @ 9:21 pm Keith Weaver

    Congratulation on being a newly wed. You look very happy! Keep to your ambitions and goals.


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