Traditional culture dictates that when it comes to dating, asking is the man’s responsibility, but this outdated belief is decaying, according to the Love Panky website.
Alexis Jensen, a sophomore studying public health, said growing up in Indiana meant that if you wanted to date a guy, you had to ask them yourself.
Jensen said this was due to the reality that there were not a lot of LDS guys in her area, so when she met one, she would ask him out.
“My mom always taught me that if you see something you want, go for it,” Jensen said. “There’s no harm in it.”
Jensen said she began asking guys out on dates because she was tired of going on dates with guys she was not interested in and wanted to have more say in who she spent her time getting to know.
“If I see a guy I’m interested in, I don’t want to be passive and miss an opportunity,” said Ashley Tucker, a senior studying recreation management.
Tucker said they are the type of people that are go-getters and go after what they want.
“I’ve had guys tell me that they were afraid to ask me out because they thought I would say no,” Tucker said. “So I figured, ‘why couldn’t I ask them?’”
Duke Davis, a freshman studying communication, said a girl has never asked him out on a date, but he thinks it would be awesome.
“If a girl asked me out, it’d honestly make my day,” Davis said.
Davis said he would even help plan the date and offer to pay for at least half of the bill.
Jensen said even though she did the asking, some guys would pay for the date, and that showed her they were glad to be there.
“It turns it from a pity date into a real date,” Jensen said. “Them paying shows they want to be on the date with you.”
Jensen said a suggestion she had for those who want to avoid confusion about who pays was to either choose a free activity or just invite them over for lunch. She said that having a guy over for a food date at your place allows you to get to know him better but also puts it into his hands whether or not he will ask you out on an official date.
Davis said it would be interesting to switch up the parts for a change and see what it feels like for the girl to do the asking.
“Sometimes it’s kind of nerve-wracking to ask a girl out, and it’s kind of hard that guys have to do the work all the time,” Davis said.
Davis said he would love if a girl were to take the pressure off and ask him out for a change.
“Guys are always told that they have to put in all the work and set it up, but it’s really nice if you give them the chance to just enjoy the date and not worry about it,” said Marissa Holtz, a sophomore majoring in marriage and family studies.
Holtz said that when the girl asks, it shows interest in the guy and puts him at ease.
“My stance is that if you like a person, whether you’re a girl or a guy, it’s okay to ask them on a date,” Holtz said.
Holtz said refusing to conform to the notion that the guy should always ask could balance out the gender roles in the relationship and help girls put themselves out there as much as the guys do.
Society seems to frown on women asking out men, but there shouldn’t be anything wrong with a woman wanting to spend her time with a man she’s interested in and making it known, according to Buzzfeed.
“It’s not anything extra special, but it’s just about taking the reins on what you want to do and who you want to date,” Holtz said.