First comes love, then comes marriage, but how do you know if marriage is right for you and your partner? Here are six questions you should ask your partner before getting engaged:
1. How do you handle anger?
Chances are, both of you will lose your tempers. When it happens, are you a “plate thrower?” Do you shut down in the face of conflict? Or do you prefer to talk it out immediately? How will you handle being upset with your partner, or vice versa? Rebecca Hendrix, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said learning your partner’s fighting behavior and discussing what is and isn’t OK in an argument, according to an article by Vi-An Nguyen on theknot.com.
2. How are your finances?
When it comes to money, are you a big spender or are you a penny-pincher? Are you in debt? What is your plan to pay off potential loans? How will you spend money as a family? For ideas on how to discuss money, look at strongermarriage.org.
3. What are your goals?
If your significant other’s goal is to be a partner in a law firm, are you willing to work extra hours to put them through law school? If your goal is to raise a large family on a farm, is your partner willing to commute to work? Do your goals line up, or are you willing to compromise? Hendrix said she suggests communicating your dreams to your partner to make sure they are open to compromising, according to the article on theknot.com.
4. How will you raise your family?
As obvious as it seems, this question is important in deciding if your partner is best suited for you. How will you discipline your children? Who will be the head of the household? What kind of a relationship do you want with your children? Vivian Jacobs, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said she advises couples to discuss these issues before they arise to avoid surprises or fights down the road, according to the article on theknot.com.
5. How do you express or feel love?
You might not realize it, but spending extra time with your partner could mean the world to them. If quality time is how they feel most loved, but you prefer gifts, talk about different ways you can meet each other’s needs. Take the free love language quiz at 5lovelanguages.com to find out how you and your partner feel or express love.
6. Do you like each other?
If you’re considering marriage, you probably already know you love each other. But do you like each other? Do you work well as a team, enjoy a similar hobby or have a shared sense of humor? When life’s inevitable stress sets in, will you still enjoy each other’s company? Relationship expert Laurie Puhn, said it is important to like your partner throughout the stages of your marriage, according to foryourmarriage.org.
Most of us fixate on that one big question, but don’t forget to ask these six other questions for a look into the future with your special someone.