For couples who are just married, the question of “How do we make this marriage last and stay happy” can be complicated, so here are some tips on how to keep a happy marriage.
1. Be there for each other
“I’ve always believed that each person in a relationship should try to give 100 percent at all times,” said Rochelle Baron, a married student and a junior majoring in general studies. “That way when one person can only give 50 percent the other person’s got you covered.”
Each person in a relationship should be understanding and attentive to each other’s needs, according to Douglas Brinley in his article “What Happily Married Couples Do.”
“A good therapist listens attentively; provides new perspectives on situations; compliments on progress; is patient, kind and nonjudgmental; and helps us think things through in ways that allow a better solution,” Brinley said in the article.
2. Keep the romance alive
Being college students and married can be a struggle for some. You have to manage marriage stress and school stress, and for some that includes children.
On the BYU-I couples counseling website, they have “Five Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage.”
“Have a date night, find time alone to talk, go for a walk, or just be together,” according to the article. “This can be even more difficult after the children arrive. Find ways to protect the couple once children arrive.”
3. Conflict management
“Don’t go to bed angry, or your husband’s gonna end up on the couch,” Baron said.
When it comes to an argument or disagreement, the way you start the overall conversation should be handled with care, according to “Five Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage.”
Avoid “Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling,” according to the article. “These can slowly choke the life out of any relationship.”
Compromise and accept each other’s faults and weaknesses.
4. Have Positive Conversations
“Sharing experiences and feelings in depth with each other is the solution to most marital problems,” Brinley said. “Couples need time just to talk.”
A couple has to feel comfortable and not judged so they know they can speak freely and comfortable about anything with each other.
“Anger is a great destroyer of marriages and families,” Brinley said. “Displays of temper are not of God but of the devil.”