Six months ago I wrote a satirical column poking fun at people who meet, get engaged and married relatively quickly. Since then, I met a girl, dated her and asked her to marry me, and we will be married on Jan. 13 of next year.
This totals to about three months from the time we met to when we got engaged, and then a four month engagement. I know this is a little on the long end of some Latter-day Saint engagements, but I was of the mentality that we needed to date around six months before engagement should be considered.
First, I want to apologize if I offended anybody with what I wrote. It wasn’t meant to offend, but rather to have a funny twist on Latter-day Saint culture. I still had fun writing it and am glad I did, but now I can see how something like that can happen, as I have experienced it myself.
The funny thing is, it wasn’t even love at first sight. We actually had a friend trying to set us up, and we fought against it.
Finally our friend got us to go on a date together, and I guess the rest is history.
I remember being worried about if we were moving too fast, but I had a conversation with her father, and he gave me some advice that helped me feel much more comfortable with the decision.
He told me if we knew it was right, then what’s the point in waiting? My mind was eased after he told me that, as I knew she was the one for me.
I know some people will say the same to me as I said in my column before, and I get that. So to you, I say it’s honestly up to the couple. I’ve seen some friends up here wait for a year or more to get engaged, and I’ve met people who are engaged within a month or two.
The difference between the two groups is how they feel about the relationship and how soon they decide whether it’s right or not. Neither is right or wrong. It’s the preference and comfort of those in the relationship.
People, especially outside of the Church, often say couples need to spend a lot of time in courtship to really know and understand each other. Research backs this up to some extent, but not fully.
The San Diego Divorce Center reported that couples who court for a year to three years have the highest marriage success rate. However, those who date longer than three years have the highest marriage failure rate.
For those in my range, they fall into two categories: the passionate group and the pragmatic group. Those who are more passionate typically fail, while the opposite is true for the more pragmatic.
I am so grateful to have a belief that God can answer prayers and guide us in our lives. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know I have a unique perspective on marriage and God’s hand in it.
From a non-Latter-day Saint view, couples need to be sure they are making the right decision. From my view, while there may be struggles or hardships, we are making an eternal commitment, and we know we have made the right decision.
I know the hard times will come, but I also know I will do my best to work through those hard times. After all, I’m pretty sure I was wrong six months ago.