What to do in a relationship when you’re just not feeling it


Despite the fact that BYU-I has the nickname “BYU-I do,” most students have likely gone through multiple “I don’ts,” or rather multiple, “I don’t feel the same way about you’s” while attending school.

Let’s be real, those situations can be pretty awkward.

How should you handle an “I don’t” situation? What do you do when someone likes you as more than a friend and you just don’t feel the same way about them?

Tyler Day, a freshman studying business management, said the best thing to do in this sort of situation is to tell the person the truth.

“The more honest, the better,” he said.

Brittany Oldroid, a sophomore studying English, said that if she knew a relationship wasn’t going to work out with someone, she would tell them as soon as she was sure of it, and she hopes the same would happen for her if she were in the opposite situation.

“I honestly would want him to just tell me so I could move on,” she said.

Trae Johansson, a sophomore studying business management, said being honest in situations like this is easier said than done.

“I kind of feel like, in our society, it’s kind of rude to tell someone that you don’t like them, so you’ll do it in the nicest way possible,” he said.

Johansson said he feels like this is why people avoid telling someone their lack of feelings for them and revert to ignoring them or distancing themselves from them.

Most people have likely avoided someone they weren’t interested in, as a way of avoiding an awkward situation.

Day said he felt like a hypocrite because although he would want to be told honestly if the person he liked didn’t like him in the same way, he doesn’t find himself doing that when the situation was reversed.

“I just didn’t text her back,” Day said. “I never talked to her. If I saw her, I would just go the other way.”

Jordan Saunders, a sophomore studying biology, said the downside of this approach is the possibility of losing a friend.

“You don’t talk to them ever again,” he said.

Saunders said that through his experience, he has learned that relationships can be saved by honestly telling the other person how you feel.

“I was dating this girl after my mission, and I was more into it than she was, and she told me, and I was like, ‘OK, well, thanks for telling me,’” Saunders said. “It was just way easier.”

Saunders said he and this girl are still friends and that the two still talk.

“I’d rather keep a friendship than lose a friend,” he said.

In order to keep that friendship, it is important to tell the person you’re not interested in as kind of a way as possible.

David Erickson, a freshman studying health science, said he has told girls before that he wasn’t interested in them, and they never talked after that.

“Maybe I’m not doing it the right way,” Erickson said.

These situations ought to be handled with care.

As sung by Adele: “If you’re gonna’ let me down, let me down gently.”

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