On Oct. 19th and 20th, Fred Woolley, a psychology professor, held two open dating seminars in the Thomas E. Ricks building. Both days, every seat in the room was filled.
“The presentation was interesting, educational and filled with laughter,” said Erika Valdez, a freshman majoring in university studies. “The way he presented it was very easy to understand and it was never awkward.”
Woolley began the presentation with an allegory. Women are fisherman, men are fish and fishing is dating.
When a woman likes a man, she throws her line out and waits for a bite. If the man doesn’t take the bait she tries again.
If a man does take the bait, however, they begin dating and as she reels him in, they get closer and closer to pulling him out of the water and him proposing.
At that point, the woman must make a decision. She can either throw the fish back and decline the proposal, or take the fish home and marry the man.
“I never really thought about how fishing relates to dating but when he explained it, it made so much sense,” Valdez said. “It was a different concept that the woman is in charge of a relationship.”
Following the allegory, Woolley proceeded to teach the women about the psychologically proven top four things men want in a relationship. They are as follows: a recreational companion; physical and verbal reassurance; someone they find attractive; and the feeling of being needed.
After Woolley pointed out these four things, the men in the room nodded in agreement. The men agreed that there was nothing that needed to be changed on the list.
Next, Woolley instructed the men to take out a notebook and a pen for the list of the psychologically proven top four things women want in a relationship. As the men in the room scrambled to find something to write with, Woolley listed these four things: romance; emotional closeness; respect and a righteous priesthood holder; and someone who is good with children.
The women laughed in agreement as the men scribbled away.
“I had never really thought about what women want in a relationship and how it differs from what guys want,” said Ben Jordan, a senior studying political science. “It definitely makes a lot of sense though and I’m glad Brother Woolley pointed them out.”
Woolley proceeded to teach the women about how to know if a man likes them. There are three simple things that should be checked off if a man likes a woman. They are as follows: time, money and effort.
These three things are limited resources, so a man will only spend them on a girl he really likes. Woolley stated that if he takes time out of his day to be with her, spends money on her after a first date and does things for her, he probably likes her.
“It’s funny when you hear things like that said because of how true it is,” Jordan said. “If I like a girl, those three things will definitely give it away.”
The next lesson of the presentation was how to flirt. Woolley made it very clear that the woman always makes the first move and just lets the man think he did.
Woolley said women scout out the area, find a man that interests them and use “ACT.”
ACT stands for attention, compliment and touch, according to Woolley. Imagine a woman is at The Crossroads and she spots a man that she is interested in. She’ll make eye contact, compliment him, touch him on the forearm and then walk away but stay in sight.
If the man is interested, he’ll find her and ask for her number. If not, he received a compliment from a stranger that made his day. According to Woolley, it’s a win-win situation.
“Brother Woolley made it sound so easy,” Valdez said. “I want to try out his method and see if it actually works.”
Throughout the presentation, Woolley answered questions and offered great advice while creating a comfortable and funny environment. Woolley has definitely proven to be a master of dating and relationship advice here at BYU-Idaho for many of the students who attended his seminar.