Domestic violence is often an uncomfortable, whispered topic. As with all sensitive subjects, there is a cautioned trust shared by survivors with advocates. Fears of doubt may hold their stories captive. Throughout history, worries of broken trust, thoughts of oversharing or disbelief have prevented many people from seeking help.

"Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship," states the National Domestic Violence Hotline website.

Oct. 31 concluded Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but nonprofits, government agencies and advocates all around the United States continue their fight to help survivors find safety.

"I think a lot of the perception around domestic violence, or sexual assault, is that 'this could never happen to me,'" said Nick Rammell, BYU-Idaho Title IX Coordinator and Dean of Students. "It just happens. It's not like strangers out of the bushes or violent drunk husbands; it's probably more common than people would think."

Several local resources, such as Title IX on the BYU-Idaho campus and the Family Crisis Center on Main Street Rexburg, aim to help survivors in Rexburg and the surrounding area.

Like many forms of abuse, domestic violence doesn't have to mean there is any physical evidence. While physical and sexual abuse often plays a part, there are a few other forms of abuse that fall under the umbrella.

The Family Crisis Center website lists the types of domestic abuse as physical, sexual, psychological/emotional, identity and economic/financial.

No matter what is happening, there is help available.

Family Crisis Center

• A 24-hour crisis line with immediate response and emotional advocacy, at 208-356-0065.
• Safe shelter
• Legal and court advocacy
• Follow-up support through support groups and counseling
• Future safety planning guidance
• Foodbank and thrift store

The Crisis Center website has several links to resources found in the community and nationally. The website is also set up with an "emergency exit" button which takes viewers to a different webpage if they need to leave it immediately.

BYUI Campus

• Title IX Office where students can report and discuss violations of the Sexual Misconduct Policy.
• Dean of Students Office helps students find solutions when schoolwork is overwhelming due to hardships.
• The Counseling Center, and Sexual Assault Support Counselors, offer free confidential counseling for full-time students.
• Student Health Center has full health care checks and services, minus sexual assault examinations.
• Security has staff on duty 24 hours and can even provide safety escorts from the BYUI campus to other locations on campus or student housing in a one-block range

Both the Crisis Center and Title IX advocates recognize that coming forward and reporting something, whether it's a personal experience or not, can be incredibly intimidating. Reporting domestic violence to both sources is completely anonymous, and contacting outside help is up to the survivor's discretion.

"Survivors can be anonymous, but even if they disclose their own identity, there is a confidentiality policy so they are safe," said Erica Battezzato, public awareness coordinator at the Family Crisis Center.

The same concept is practiced at Title IX. Students aren’t required to share any personal information, including their name. If a student needs advice or has questions, they can go into Rammell’s office and leave everything there.

Rammell said students might feel that the BYUI Honor Code causes stress when considering reporting domestic abuse to Title IX. He explained that in 2017, policies were updated across all CES schools for sexual harassment and misconduct. According to those policies, individuals who reach out to Title IX are kept confidential and information won't be taken to the Honor Code office.

The survivor is completely in control of what is or isn't shared.

"The most relevant (policy) is amnesty, which is, 'If I've been involved in a violation of the Honor Code that arises out of the same facts and circumstances of being sexually assaulted, then I will receive amnesty for my Honor Code violation,'" Rammell said.

He explained that a textbook example of amnesty helping students is when a student is drinking alcohol at a party and is sexually assaulted. In accordance with those sexual misconduct protection policies, Title IX cannot report the Honor Code violation, so there is no threat of discipline from the university.

"We don't want you to have to suffer in silence and have that kind of trauma swimming in your life. So, amnesty reassures people, 'I can go into the university and I won't be disciplined for the Honor Code violation that was around this sexual assault,'" Rammell said.

Additionally, Rammell reminded there doesn’t have to be an explicit “no,” for assault to be real. As complexing as it can feel, if someone feels violated in any way, they are welcome in both the Family Crisis Center and Title IX to talk it through and find options.

These resources are there for survivors. Domestic abuse advocates are there to protect and guide wherever they can.