l How to be a terrible roommate - BYU-I Scroll

So, it’s a new semester and new sheets have been bought, smiles with roommates have been shared and all seems peachy. Wait about a week and the worst roommate will begin to be born from the woodwork of happy social encounters.

Do Nothing or Do something

Convicted: Does Nothing

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with doing absolutely nothing. . Punishment: 5 minutes doing anything. Anything at all. Height: 5’2. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

That’s right; nothing, zilch, nada. It doesn’t matter what language you speak. Doing nothing is pretty simple and the fastest way to be a horrible roommate.

Don’t do your dishes.

Convicted: Dish Stacker

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with never doing dishes and making the kitchen stink. Punishment: 10 hours to dish cleaning without breaking for moisturizing hands. Height: 5’9. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

Allow the sink to fill up. Even just having one spoon in the sink seems to invite all of the other dishes to pile up on top of it. It’s as if that spoon is a bowl of honey and the remaining dishes are the flies that are attracted to it. Leave everything in the sink, even to soak.

If you want to be a good roommate, do your dishes. Wash what you use.

Don’t do your clean check

Convicted: Dirtiest Dude

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with leaving trash everywhere and never picking it up. Additional charge of wearing a Wal-Mart do-rag. Punishment: taking a bath with five bath bombs. Height: 6’1. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

Convicted: Dirtiest Dude

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with leaving trash everywhere and never picking it up. Additional charge of wearing a Wal-Mart do-rag. Punishment: taking a bath with five bath bombs. Height: 6’1. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

 

Throw your clothes everywhere and don’t vacuum. Dirty up the vanity and leave it like that. Track snow and mud into your apartment and don’t clean it up.

Actually being aware of your surroundings is a good roommate. In the famous words of High School Musical, we’re all in this together. So clean up when the time comes around to do so. Sometimes, if your apartment is really clean, your managers will give you prizes like gift cards to Little Caesars or McDonalds. This varies on your apartment manager and complex.

Turn up the heater to 80 degrees or higher.

Convicted: Heat Junkie

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with an addiction to the thermostat and making the apartment unbearably hot. Punishment: one night in the Rexburg tundra, without a onesie. Height: 6’5. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

“When you walk into a room and it’s a wall of fire that hits you and you ask ‘where are all the palm trees?’ you know it’s too hot,” said Lindsay Jenkins, a sophomore studying animal science.

There can be thermostat wars in apartments; somebody likes it cold, while somebody who’s never experienced Rexburg in the winter loves it hot. To be the bad roommate, turn up the heat all the way and don’t ask anybody. To be the good roommate, consult with your roommates, and come to a compromise together.

Play your music super loud in the morning

Convicted: Sleep Disturber

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with disturbing the peace of everyone’s sleep. Punishment: 12 straight hours of Shania Twain in solitary confinement. Height: 5’11. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

You will come to learn that sleep is the most beloved moments of your day— and not one to be interrupted. If you want to be a terrible roommate, play your music super loud in the morning and wake everybody up. Don’t think that listening to General Conference talks or the Tabernacle Choir will give you blessings in heaven. The louder you listen to it here, the more angry your roommates become and the more angels you offend.

Chris Rankin, a sophomore studying accounting said being too loud at night can be annoying.

“A couple of nights ago, I had to turn on the fan in the dead of winter to drown out the sound of my loud roommate,” Rankin said.

Sleep is holy. Don’t mess with it.

Eat Everyone’s Food

Convicted: Cabinet Raider Roommate

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with eating everyone’s food. Height: 5’6. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

Convicted: Cabinet Raider

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with eating everyone’s food. Punishment: extreme weight gain. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

A mission companion once told me, “We live in the same house. What is your food is mine.” I smacked my cracker right out of his hand.

The food you buy with your money is your food, not anybody else’s. To be a terrible roommate means you just eat anyone’s and everyone’s food. Amy Whitworth, a freshman studying art, said the most annoying thing is when people use her stuff, or eat her food without people asking.

I’m not saying don’t share, I’m just saying be very specific in telling roommates what they can and can’t eat. Sometimes your scribbled name on the cookie box isn’t enough to stop the cookie monster that wants to gobble all those up. If you want to be terrible, eat everyone’s food without asking. If you want to be worse than terrible, eat their food even after they’ve said no.

Never be home

Convicted: Never Home

Convicted by the Roommate Police 12-14-18. Charged with never being home. Punishment: deleting Mutual off his phone. Height: 5’10. Photo credit: Conner Pearson

“The terrible roommate is one that you never got to know. It’s not that they were horrible or anything, it’s just that you never got the experience to get to know somebody,” said Rankin. “Roommates are basically free friends.”

This is an awesome opportunity to get to know others, choose to be the good roommate, not the horrible one.