Every relationship is built on getting to know another person, whether it is love at first sight or two friends slowly becoming something more.
Morgan Claybrook, a senior studying child development, said a relationship will grow to “a point where you feel best with that person, instead of with other people you might be dating.”
Claybrook said seeing a partner when they are disappointed or stressed can help you get to know them. She said doing so helped her choose her husband.
“You can’t really get to know someone if you’ve always seen them at their best,” Claybrook said.
Claybrook said people should look for how a potential partner treats waiters at restaurants and others who serve them.
“We think the other person is the best when we might first meet them,” said Alisa Goodwin-Snell, a professional relationship coach, in a Mormon Channel interview. “But it doesn’t take long for us to see they have weaknesses.”
Goodwin-Snell said people starting a relationship need to see the other person as what they are, not what they could be. She said to look for what the person does by themselves before building a relationship with them.
“Anyone who is manipulative can maintain a deception for up to four to six months,” Goodwin-Snell said.
She said as a manipulative person becomes more comfortable, the truth about who they are come out.
Goodwin-Snell said she encourages people to look for empathy, self-control and personal responsibility during the beginning of a relationship.
“Empathy is the ability to see another’s feelings and needs as valuable and important, even when I want something from them or I’m upset with them,” Goodwin-Snell said.
Samantha, a senior studying art, said people should not focus on what they want, but focus on what God wants.
“That’s kind of what my husband was focusing on for the first chunk of time before he asked me out,” Samantha said.
Samantha said her husband had a hard breakup the semester before they met and prayed and talked with his bishop before officially dating her.
Randall Smith, a junior studying applied plant science, said he met his wife at the start of high school, but he was often scared to talk with her.
Smith said they kept in touch when he moved from California to Virginia and while they both served missions. Smith said they officially started dating after reuniting at BYU-I.
“I got to know a lot of other people; I didn’t care for anybody else,” Smith said.
Goodwin-Snell’s complete interview is titled, “How To Invite God into your Relationship,” and can be found on the Mormon Channel.