I am an only child. No brothers. No sisters. “Just me.”
I am not spoiled. I am a miracle.
Whenever I walk into a new group, a new school, or a new job, a typical get-to-know-you question is “How many siblings do you have?“ My lips shut tight till the very last second when I answer, “oh, I don’t have any.”
Laughter enters into the room and my cheeks turn pink. Then people start making comments about how I am spoiled or I get everything I want.
Why does this one simple question end up placing me into a category of being pampered? Usually, the questions stop after that, leaving me no chance to explain that being an only child does not mean all my dreams come true.
“The studies all show that only children are not spoiled,” Susan Newman, Social Psychologist, parenting expert, author of The Case for the Only Child: Your essential guide said,” They’re no more lonely than other children, and they actually make as many friends as children with siblings.”
All children go through problems or difficulties growing up. As an only child, I am not free of worldly trials, rather I face them each day too.
Do I work to buy things? Yes. Do I share? Yes.
We all have different circumstances and family situations that we are placed in when we come into this life.
My parents got married in 1983 and did not have me until 1998, 15 years later. I was placed into the humble home my parents worked so hard to create.
My family moved from Los Angelas to Rancho Cucamonga, California with nothing before they conceived me. My parents had a hard time staying afloat.
I am blessed to say that I never was without. However, the terminology I would use is that my parents provided for me. They did not spoil me.
At age five I was taught the value of a dollar. We were at the LA county fair while my father worked. My mom and I would sit until my father finished work for the day. The stand in front of my father’s sold toys. Being a five year old, I would run to the stand hoping to take a toy home. The owner of the stand saw me every weekend and told me to take the toy to my dad and come back with the money. I did exactly that. Until my dad said, “No.”
I think we would say to be spoiled is to get everything we want, right? At a very young age, I learned that I could not have everything I wanted.
My father told me if I could sell one item from the stand I could get the toy. Lucky for me, everyone thinks you’re cute at that age, so I sold an item and bought the toy.
Assumptions occur because one person who is an only child was spoiled. Making the rest of children with no siblings, spoiled brats. This is completely wrong. Just like the saying, “You can not judge a book by its cover.” Please don’t judge me because I am an only child. Get to know me as an individual rather than some stereotype.
The principle of hard work embedded in me that day for the rest of my life. To this day I do not receive anything unless I work for it or truly deserve it. In my parents’ eye, I am a miracle child. For others, I am spoiled until they hear who I really am, a hard-worker.