Telling people that your fiancee is about to leave on a mission usually brings a hilarious mixture of surprise and pity and an expression that says, “I don’t want to offend, but you’ve both got to be crazy.”
Now, there’s no point in pretending I wasn’t a little disappointed when my fiancee told me she was going to serve. We had been planning on getting married this year, but, as time went on, she began feeling like we would be more prepared for marriage if she served a mission first.
I’d seen it coming, but that didn’t mean I was 100 percent excited right away. Immediately, people started saying that she had gotten cold feet and was running away from marriage.
People asked things like, “Why would she run away from an opportunity to get married?” and, “Why would you even consider waiting for her?”
These are important questions. The answers I’ve found are simple.
They’re important for everyone to understand, whether you’re the one deciding on a mission or the one dating someone who is.
The only person who gets to decide if you should serve a mission is Heavenly Father. The only person who gets to decide if you will serve a mission is you.
I know this seems overly simplistic, but serving a mission is purely a matter of prayer and commitment. If you trust in your significant other’s ability to receive and understand personal revelation, all the difficulties in sending him or her off sort of disappear.
“But what if he finds someone else while you’re serving a mission? You could lose him!”
The answer is just as simple as the ones I gave before.
If the Lord wants you to go, the Lord wants you to go.
You both have to prepare yourself for the possibility of you finding someone else while she’s out.
That may sound harsh, but the fact is that any two people committed to their covenants can build a strong marriage.
Some argue that marriage trumps a mission. There are a lot of situations in which this is true. Others use a mission to strengthen their relationships. My fiancee and I fall in the second gro.
In the end, the only thing that really matters in all of this is whether or not your fiancee is really inspired to serve. Sometimes Heavenly Father’s plans are different than ours.
If we end getting married, great! We have every intention of getting married shortly after she returns home.
If we don’t end getting married, there will be something else awesome waiting for us. If you accept that, there’s nothing to worry about.