For many students, dating can be hard, time-consuming and confusing. Here’s some advice on what the opposite sex wants with some insights of BYU-Idaho students.
If students ever find it difficult to start a conversation, use the F.O.R.D acronym which are helpful topics to start a conversation.
F stands for Family: Talking about family to strangers will help them feel closer to you.
O stands for Occupation: Speaking about your occupation is a very common and surface-level conversation. Don’t dwell on the surface-level conversation, but jump into deeper conversations. Add comments before asking other questions.
R stands for Recreation: Asking surface-level questions while adding comments in between can help expand the conversation. Ask, “What do you like to do?” and go from there.
D stands for Dreams: This is one of the deeper topics to talk about. Everyone has a dream, and can this can help lead to a deeper conversation.
1. Offer to pay
Although men should pay for the first date, many men find that women who offer to pay are very attractive. Most of the time, it shows men that women can provide for themselves and are independent. Of course, most men won’t let women pay on the first date, but it’s the thought that counts.
2. Don’t talk about yourself in excess
Don’t dominate the conversation by only talking about yourself and not bothering to ask questions or listen to the other person. This can be perceived as vain and conceited. After all, God gave us two ears and one mouth — listen more than talk.
In a Psychology Today article, they explained that one of the ways to spot narcissistic tendencies in yourself or others is by evaluating conversations.
The article said, “In conversation, people give off cues to others about the inner workings of their minds. These same cues can be useful to you if you know how to listen to your contributions to conversations.”
3. Be Appreciative of the Date
Even if the date is sweet and simple rather than over the top or extravagant, be grateful and enjoy the simple things and the quality time spent together.
“Big things are being appreciative of the date, especially afterward if they put effort into it,” said Maxwel Gross, a junior studying civil engineering.
4. Be Honest and Be Yourself
Don’t try to be something you are not to get someone to like you. When it comes to dating, feel free to say how you truly think and feel.
“Honesty is a huge thing,” said Thomas Kersey, a freshman studying animal science. “Honesty is the best policy.”
1. Don’t Talk About Marriage
Talking about marriage right at the beginning scares your date and makes it seem like things are moving too quickly.
According to Elite Daily, “Don’t talk about how you’re ready to have kids and get married. This will scare your date away.”
2. Be a Gentleman
Women want men to remember to treat a lady with the utmost courtesy.
“Be kind and respectful,” said Staci Hebdon, a junior studying accounting. “The little gestures like opening doors I think is really good. (Don’t) be rude or judgmental.”
3. Be Yourself and Listen
“(Men) should just be themselves and they should listen and get to know the girl,” said Laura Leon, a freshman studying biomedical science.
Many women say that they’re not interested in a guy who’s trying too hard to be cool.
4. Avoid Toxic Topics of Conversation
It can be unattractive to talk about your exes on the first date. It will seem like you haven’t moved on and are still hung up on your ex. This applies to both men and women: Don’t talk about your ex. It’s a huge turn-off.
This one has already been said, but it is important to not continuously talk about all your accomplishments and how great you are.
Katy Grant, a sophomore studying special education says, “Don’t talk about your mission the whole time.”