Home Opinion Women should take initiative in dating

Women should take initiative in dating

Kaili-Huber

Do you feel like you are going out on enough dates? Do you feel like you are too often alone in your apartment on Friday nights?

That is probably because you aren’t asking anybody out.

I have many girlfriends who wonder why it has been so long since they have gone on a date.

Why don’t more girls ask guys out?

Maybe they are afraid. We all get shy and self-conscious around someone we’re interested in.

A hundred different thoughts run through our heads: Should I go talk to him? Will he even be interested in me? What if I’m not his type? What if he says no? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?

I’m going to let you in on a little clue: guys have these same thoughts. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she says no?

Guys get shy and self-conscious too; yet many girls still expect them to initiate a date every time. It’s scary and hard to ask a girl out. We are scary. We are intimidating, especially because we usually travel in packs. It’s almost easier for us to ask guys out because we will be more likely to catch them alone.

Come on, ladies. Step it up. Be a go-getter. If you are interested in a guy, don’t try leaving him subtle hints. He is probably not going to get it anyway. I’m a girl, and I don’t get hints. Be straightforward and let a guy know that you are interested in him.

Don’t act like it is some big secret that you like him. Don’t try to stop your roommates if they say they are going to go talk to him for you. Don’t expect him to come to you.

He does not know that you are interested in him if you have not told him. So you cannot get mad at him when nothing happens if you have not done anything to make it happen.

Go talk to him. Ask him out.

I know so many girls who will talk about a guy they are interested in all day and complain that they have no chance with him. That is because they refuse to go talk to him! Why are girls so afraid of even talking to a guy?

My most successful relationships have started with me making the first move. I asked him on a date. I went out of my way to talk to him. I texted him first. Why can’t a girl text a guy first? What rule tells the girl to wait for the guy to text her?

Oh right, there is no rule. No rule exists—or has ever existed for that matter—that states that girls cannot text a guy first.  Ladies, you have no excuse.

If you are interested in a guy, do not wait for him to text you first. If you want to talk to him—if you are thinking about him—text him first. Or, better yet, talk to him in person.

Of course this goes the other way as well. Guys, if you are interested in a girl, let her know. Talk to her.

Nothing will ever happen if people do not go out of their way to talk to someone they are interested in.

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